One year away from graduating, and a couple months away from completing my year abroad, and to be honest, I’m rather stressed. My thoughts keep drifting to the future, and the ever looming fear that my life’s achievements peaked in high school doesn’t help. I have always dreamt big, and I don’t think that will ever change, but the worry that I’m not advancing and progressing as quickly as I need to to achieve all that I want to achieve, makes everything feel that much harder. I think about my plan, my next steps; do a masters, work on a production crew, gain experience, write my own films, make my own films, work my way up the ladder… It all just feels like if one part crumbles away, if I don’t quite hit the mark, it’ll all fall apart, and it’s terrifying. Of course, I’ve never been one to give up, and if one plan fails, you make another. Yet the whole idea that I turn 21 this year, and my childhood is now behind me, just leaves me without words. My life is flashing past, and I don’t want to look back in old age and have wasted it.
It’s strange coming home after spending a long time away. Even though it’s only been a few months since I was last here, many things have changed. Mostly me. Continue reading “Home and Growing Up”
It’s funny, the friends you make. They are often so different from any of the friends you would have expected to choose. Some of them are quite unlikely, and can be forged at almost any point throughout your life. You form bonds that become stronger than you ever thought could occur, you find yourself with an extended family of sorts. I have a friend who I have known most of my life, who initially I thoroughly disliked, but now care for more than any other. Not just for the fights we’ve faced together, or how we always accept each other, or call out each others’ mistakes, or because we laugh so hard we cry together, but because over time we have come to trust and love each other like siblings. And even after long times apart, it feels like we never lose touch. Personally, I couldn’t live without friends. People who help me grow, and make each day more full of life than I could ever experience on my own. I have friends who have become my sisters, and quite funnily their boyfriends have become my bros. I have crazy friends, who piss me off to no end, who I wouldn’t trade for the world. I have quiet friends who always know just what to say, approaching my problems with a comfortingly relaxed ease that I struggle to. Silly friends who make me laugh, and shake my head at the same time. I have loved, and lost, and rebuilt friendships over the past few years. Some don’t always last, but some can bind souls so that after decades you are still close and can still rely on one another no matter what. Continue reading “Unlikely Friendships: A Little Advice”